Friday, June 25, 2004

How gutted am I?...

Am I as gutted as a freshly gutted bloater, slapped on a marble slab in a fish shop window in Grimsby high street?

No, much, much more gutted than that - by some considerable margin, I'm afraid.

When will we stop being heroic failures?
It's at times like these I remember what Noel Coward once said (possibly) - "My dear, dear boy, it could be a lot worse, you could support Scotland"

That's true. By gum, I feel better all ready.
p.s. - Anyone want to buy 500 small car window St George's flags?

Did he really see that?…….

My brother-in-law insists that whilst driving around in North London last week he saw a van with a sign on the side of it that said - Patel & Patel, Plumbers. You’ve been let down by the cowboys, so why not try the Indians!

Is that an urban myth?

Welcome to my very worst of……
(an occasional series)

Worst ad’ currently on the telly – The very, very fat man with oversized strap on jingly-jangly jowlingtons, advertising his ambulance-chasing services from PA helpline. Always on during the daytime, it’s cheap nasty and very jowly.

Actor’s budget – Bugger all. Just the big guy, who obviously owns the gaff.

Props budget - less than bugger all. An old beach ball with some dodgy felt-tip writing on – and a ‘70’s phone. Plus, the strap on jowls (jumbo size).