Pass me the warm milk…..

OK, pretty devastating news from Alfie’s rock n roll HQ. I don’t look as bad as Keith Richards, I don’t have his money or his bizarre taste in hair ornaments – but maybe I share a couple of his health problems. A routine visit to the Health Centre for a chesty cough complaint provoked an enquiry from the Doc’

"While you’re here, why don’t we check your blood pressure?"

She did. She frowned. She said "Hmmmmm"

Picture one of those cartoons were the liquid rises at the speed of light up the dial, hits the bulb at the top, bulges, shakes and explodes…..

High blood pressure. Bloody high - as high as an elephant’s eye on top of a high blood pressure chart on the wall of the penthouse suite of the Empire State Building, as it happens…..

It’s the end of the rock and roll lifestyle for yours truly. My Doctor told me the man that is the angry old basket case has got to go – so have the rounds of bread with every meal, so has the beer.

I’m on the wagon. Old Alfie has gone – along with the bacon butties…. and the Turkish Delight…. and did I mention the beer?

New healthy, more caring, more feminine Alfie is in the building, having got here by bicycle…….

But tell me, does giving up the rock and roll lifestyle, the beer, the bacon butties, the beer, the Turkish Delight, the beer and a ton of bread make me live longer – or will it just seem longer?