Drinking from the Entente Cordial….

Did I really say that.

Did I?

I think I did.

I met a nice French lady yesterday for a business meeting. I had to get to where she was sharpish-like as she could only see me for an hour before catching a flight back to Paris. Her English was immaculate, her dress-sense sophisticated - all in all, she was just so cool, calm and professional. The business done I stood up, thanked her and shook her hand….

Just then, I thought how nice it would be if I could say something in French to her. My mind trolled back to all the Cointreau adverts I’d seen, back to my best CSE French reference books, back to those black and white Jean-Paul Belmondo movies of the sixties…. What could I say to her?

Of course, brilliant…

"Mademoiselle, zank you verhee much for zeeing me. Ah would lake to wish you a very ‘appy bon voyage back to la belle Fransay"

She looked at me like I was a weirdo who had just oh-deed on extra strong weirdo pills.

Maybe she didn’t understand my accent?… Funny, but I thought everyone in France talked like Inspector Clouseau…

Man nicks boat….

This is a weird story . A man hires a canal boat out for a 2 week holiday then does the slowest runner in history – at 4 miles per hour. The police were duly called – and put out a nationwide ‘APB’ on the felon and his hot set of sedentary boatyness….

The last time anyone saw this guy was in March – since then it is known that he has repainted the boat from its original livery of green and red to a rather indiscreet bright blue.

Bad move. Even allowing for the incompetence of ‘Plod of the Yard’, if he really wanted to hide away forever, I suggest a big tin of camouflage paint would be more effective – as can be seen in this photograph.

Fleet of boats on the Kennet and Avon canal cunningly concealed with silk finish camouflage paint....