Monday, June 21, 2004

Father’s Day pressies – getting what you really want…..

Yesterday I got a really, really fab pressie. It was a great day all round really.
Because it was Father’s Day I didn’t do the ironing.
Because it was Father’s Day I didn’t do the washing up.
Because it was Father’s Day I didn’t do any cooking.
Because it was Father’s Day, I mostly sat on my arse, drinking beer and watching the footy on the telly.

Come to think of it, most days are Father’s Days…..

Back to my pressie. I hinted, I coughed, I left post it notes around – ‘Must remember to buy Dad ‘Who murdered Geoffrey Chaucer’ by Terry Jones’ for Father’s Day’

It’s a brilliant book, not least giving a superb account of the malevolent murky medieval machinations that I love reading about.

No hints were taken up – only one thing to do, buy it myself – and raid offspring’s piggy banks to pay for it. Magic, dictatorship is alive and well and living in OK Mansions – and you could tell, they were really, really happy for me – honest!

The strange case of the one legged policeman – (does ‘P.C.’ stand for Police Constable anymore)……

West Midlands police have taken on a one-legged police recruit – a career traditionally taken up in the past by bipeds. I just don’t understand it at all – can a one legged man be as active as someone with twice as many legs? It reminded me of that great sketch by Dudley Moore and Peter Cook.

Cook plays a theatrical agent, auditioning for the role of ‘Tarzan’. In hops little Dud’ – he’s only got one leg…
Cook eyes him up and says "Let me get this straight, you’ve come to audition for the role of Tarzan? You, a one legged man is going for a role traditionally undertaken where the minimum requirement in the leg department is two"….


"As soon as you hopped in I looked straight at your right leg and thought to myself, now that’s a lovely leg. That’s a lovely leg for the role of Tarzan. I have nothing against your right leg …. Unfortunately, neither have you".