Wednesday, December 08, 2004

A body swerve at the near post…

Over the last few weeks, Alfie has most definitely been feeling it’s time for a change of direction in his life journey. A bit late probably. I mean, the crest of the hill is a faint shadow in the rear view mirror and the old careers officer has found a new occupation inspecting daisy roots from six feet under. Basically, Alfie’s well fed up with having to grind out a living in the whacky world of visual communications.

Amidst an atmosphere of ever shrinking budgets and ever more Scrooge like behaviour from God like clients always expecting something for nothing, Alfie reckons the design game is up sh1t creek without a paddle….. or a lifejacket….. or a jackpot winning lottery ticket.

Thanks to Bill Gates and Steve why don’t you take all our jobs, Jobs, the mystical art of design and creativity has been reduced to nothing more than buying a crappola art package for £49.99 from PC World and banging off your ‘bespoke’ brochure via a £90 quid printer…..

There have been no single straws – more a gross of wire bound bales weighing down and breaking asunder a once optimistic and enthusiastic camel’s back.

So, a new career beckons,
Maybe something on the internet?

Or possibly a pugilist?
Alfie the KO.

I can do a pretty good Ned Flanders impression –
Alfie the Oakally Doakally

I’ve always fancied a bit of tree surgery,
Alfie the oak lay…

Matadoring might be an option,
Alfie the ole!

I could do a biography on camp Carry On star, Charles Hawtrey,
Alfie the Ohhh I say.

Although I could become a bit of an expert mentoring type…
Alfie the au fait…

I can but dream……..
Alfie the old’n’grey.