Friday, October 14, 2005

Join the Awkward Squad, you know it makes sense….

In these dark days of big brother, his porcine pal Fat-Johnny Prescott, and a whole phalanx of yes monkey acolytes –an Englishman’s castle is no longer the redoubt it once was.

To put it bluntly, our territorial freedoms are under siege like never before. It’s the Alamo, Troy and Mafeking all rolled into one for everyone living in this country. Prescott has powers that would shame a mega braided, South American Junta General - and he's using them, (badly, obviously).

If he wants your house to be flattened and made into a car park for his Jag collection, tough.
If he decides a mobile phone mast is to be erected next to your kids school, you’ll just have to watch the little ‘uns glow with health. The bit of ancient woodland down the road – it’s stood proud for a thousand years and helped build the ships that defeated the Spanish Armada? Well, better enjoy it while you can because soon it’ll be built on - earmarked for low cost housing for ‘key’ workers.

What can be done to stop Prescott’s concrete juggernaut in it’s tracks? Short of blowing him up with a booby trapped cow pie, precious little it would seem….. but possibly not.

Time to get organised, mobile and bolshy…… and now there’s a little bit of help available in the shape of an interesting book. Not quite as earth shattering as Mao’s – but nevertheless, it could help knee Prezza right in the goolies, and that can only be a good thing.

Sir Antony Jay, co-writer of ‘Yes Minister’ and experienced Westminster lobby correspondent has written a book entitled ‘Not in My Backyard’. The title smacks of ‘nimbyism’ – but it’s much more than that. During the next 20 years, Prescott wants to build up to 4 million houses in England - in the name of so-called sustainable development. (Even though there are currently up to a million unoccupied houses in the South of England, alone). His new build programme is not sustainable and it's not thought out properly. He wants to plonk a million houses in the South East - an area of the country with chronic water and energy shortages; meanwhile, Scotland’s population is haemorrhaging as the relentless 'South East drift' continues.

His discredited 'Pathfinder' programme in the North of England is trying to knock down nearly half a million perfectly good, perfectly sound Victorian and Edwardian houses (including my Mum's old house) - and replace them with crap. These houses are not slums - Prescott is currently paying up to £200,000 per house - in order to demolish them. Hardly a price you'd pay for a condemned building. That man will ruin our country - and he has to be stopped. The book hones the prospects of protesters, evens up the playing field (well, the ones that haven’t yet been built on) and gives some much-needed ammunition to Mr and Mrs Joe Public. It could be the best £7.99 you ever spend….

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Hold the front page......

I was having a discussion with a colleague yesterday, we got round to talking about something close to my heart……
And that is witty, sometimes corny headlines from newspapers…

I have to admit, I couldn’t beat his recollected efforts – the two best were –

In the ‘70’s the Rolling Stones were doing a tax haven thing and relocating to the south of France. Understandably, the locals weren’t too chuffed – they started a campaign and got a bit of a petition going to stop the legendary hell raisers from living in their midst.

The headline in the newspaper –
‘Rolling Stones Gather Mass Noes’

Better than that though, was the story about books being nicked from an Essex town’s central library. The story was headed thus –
'Book Lack in Ongar'

Brilliant, just brilliant.