Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Trivia Corner……. Well I never!

I just thought you should know this. In the 6th Century, a big beardy, Anglo Saxon man founded a little village on the River Trent. The little village thrived and grew – so much so that this speck on the river is now one of the biggest Cities in the Midlands.

The beardy founder was a warrior called ‘Snotta’- (or ‘Snot’ for short?) and his little hamlet he christened ‘Snotta – ing – ham’ – which is a bit better I suppose than ‘Bogeyville’ or ‘Candles City’ (but not much?). Over the years, the good burghers of that fine city have shortened the name to ‘Nottingham’ …. I wonder why?

AlfieCorp Inc

‘AlfieCorp Incorporated’ is up and running. 2005 being the year of the couch potato - it’s now or never to realise my dream and trouser a few bob in the process. My aim is to become a plutocrat within 12 months – and join the bejewelled ranks of the Duke of Westminster, Sir Richard Branson, Rupert Murdoch … and Noel Edmunds.

There are a lot of irons in a lot of fires at the moment – it’s a bit of a ‘full on carpet-bombing’ strategy, in the hope that at least one fantastic idea will do the bizz, and fund my crazy, zany, Keith Moony driving-cars-into-swimming-pools lifestyle……. That I intend to have.

We’ve got around 6 different business ideas to go at this year – and none of them involve selling stuff on ebay, or writing a book, buying cheap properties, doing them up and selling them on …….or winning the lottery. Talking about winning the lottery, it is not all it’s cracked up to be – believe me, I know, I’ve won it ……… and ten quid goes nowhere nowadays.

It’s a really exciting time though, these ideas are all low cost start up options – and all aimed at niche, obsessional markets. My enthusiasm has been rekindled as the prospect of leaving the crappy, penny-pinching world of graphic design way behind. None of them would be possible to contemplate without the diamond geezer that is Tim Berners Lee and his great WWW invention – given to the world for nothing …… what a guy!.

Why hasn’t this Great Briton been given a knighthood or a Life Peerage yet?

Controversy at the Blood Tub quiz…..

Well, we wuz robbed last night….. Beaten by one measly point. Of course, it was the QM’s fault wasn’t it? He’s marked one of our answers wrong – but surely he’s the one that has got it wrong hasn’t he?

The question – in question was "What is the plural of Roof?"
We put ‘Rooves’ – a cinch for one point….. Our relentless march for total quiz domination of the West Lancashire region was assured.

But no! No, no no …. The answer the QM gave was ‘roofs’…. And we lost by one point. Machinations, slagging off and threats to sue followed – the QM’s a berk, right?

I get home – the OED is dug out …. And wouldn’t you just know it – my copy is wrong as well. Just under ‘rood screen I find the definition - ‘roof (n), pl roofs’…..

Looks like humble pie with a pint at next weeks quiz then?

Monday, January 10, 2005

Rock on, Emma Block…..

I knew it would happen – and it’s about bloody time.
I knew, sooner or later, the blinkers would be ripped from tunnel vision eyeballs. I knew that some day a Uni’ student would stir, wake up, smell the coffee and cry "Racism"….

Today is that day….. Halle-bloody-lujah

For Glasgow University student, Emma Block is suing the Scottish Executive for discrimination – because she is English.

Because she is English she has to shell out a pile more cash in fees than her Scottish student counterpart – or for that matter, any other E.U. student studying at a Scottish University.

She’s got a big shot lawyer – and he’s packing a big shot Magnum 45 – lots of awkward questions are about to be asked…… His first stop is the Commission for Racial Equality.

I have to say, I’ve already been there – but I didn’t have a big shot lawyer to back me up. Just me, my computer, my lexicon of vicious invective….. and a bloody great dollop of self righteous indignation for good measure.

Pernicious fee charges for my Son’s Uni’ course was the subject of my email. If you go to a Uni’ in England, it costs more than anywhere else in the UK. If you are English (unless your parents fall below an income threshold) you support yourself. If, for example you are a Scottish student attending an English University – then the Scottish Executive pays the fees – and may even give ‘Grants’ to their students to boot.

I cried ‘foul’

Tax rates are the same all over the UK. Tax is collected and counted at the Treasury in London – ergo, everyone should have the same treatment in Health, Public Services and Education…..

Of course, the CRE ‘couldn’t help me’ – basically because "they could not interfere with the education matters within the UK"…… Whatever that meant….. They seemed to admit that ‘it was wrong’ – but because the discrimination was being exercised within the UK, then it was ‘permissible’…….

Maybe, just maybe, with a big shot lawyer holding a big shot Magnum 45 to their collective big backsides, they will take Emma Block’s email a little more seriously.

Maybe, just maybe, this will be ‘the start’ – the start of something big, when the big Country in the Union stops getting kicked around by the little ones – and an equal and mature, mutually beneficial relationship will break out instead….