Friday, March 04, 2005

‘N’ is for ……..

‘Nottinghamshire’ apparently.
Except when you’ve got a cold – and then it’s
‘D’ for Dottinghamshire.

The hip, go-getting County Council of Nottinghamshire have revamped, made over and rebranded their homeland. Robin Hood has been outlawed – he’s old hat. Apparently, they reckon they’re going to rival Barcelona and Dublin in the weekend break market. Cool café culture comes to the murky banks of the River Trent.

They’ve joined the current vogue for shortening everything, txt style. They’ve followed in the steps of NY, FCUK, GSOH and FSH - and gone all minimal. ‘Nottinghamshire’ was passé, old fashioned and boring. But not any more. The ‘Ottinghamshire’ part of Nottinghamshire has been slung out, chucked into the bin labelled ‘chinz’ – leaving just the cool trendy moniker of ‘N’

‘N’spiring eh?

What a coup by the marketeers. They say ‘N’ stands for sexy, young, vital and sophisticated. Well they would, wouldn’t they. They’ve just trousered a fee of 125 grand for the use of their creative juices. Northumbria, Northamptonshire and Norfolk are reported to be livid. They just wish they’d have thought of it first.

What do I think? Utter rubbish. It’s old fashioned and crude. It’s dated - in a Seventies Kojak, flared trousers sort of way. It’s bound to fail. Cynical council tax payers are already pillorying beleaguered jobsworths for wasting their cash.

Alfie has been doing a bit of creative thinking – in an attempt to calm tempers – and offer the good people of Nottinghamshire an alternative brand to the big ‘N’…..

Got it!

Nottinghamshire – Nott too dull there then.


Anonymous said...

N is for... Numb from the Neck-up

Has anyone told Doncaster that Robin Hood is old hat? They're persisting with the daft idea of re-naming Finningley Airport "Robin Hood International".

I hear that Barnsley is re-branding itself as a Tuscan hill village.

Silly buggers.

Bugsy said...

What's in a name .. If they can call John Prescott 'Deputy Prime Minister' then nothing's safe .. Pratt 2 would seem more appropriate.

Anonymous said...

£120,000 to replace Robin Hood.
Robbin' bastards ! !

The Crafty Cruiser said...

Could they not have just changed it to Settawankas and saved the consultancy fee?

Bob Piper said...

I agree with 99% of what you say... just lay off Kojack.

Shooting Parrots said...

Apparently it used to be called Snottingham, meaning 'the hamlet of the Snots', but the Normans couldn't pronounce the letter S. The folk of Scunthorpe were not very happy about this.

Mosher said...

I was listening to 5-Live and they wer getting the usual barrage of texts on new stories. This one got a few, like:

"Why go to Notts anyway, when you can go to Leicester instead?"

Because if I want to go to a gun-crime riddled shite hole, Nottingham's close to me than Leicester, that's why.

P.S. Do a search for "Rupert Murdoch" on Your site comes second :)

Red Fred said...

Bloody Nora, how do ya splutter that one, without spraying spit everywhere?

OK , upgrade the Robin Hood concept, get cool, laid back, legless, erm sorry. Right.

Let's have *Throbbin' Wood* Hows zat?

Tony Cima said...

N is for Nob. That's got to be a good start. How about Nobbing'em?

weenie said...

A big N for Naff - Robin Hood was a legend, immortalised on the big screen by greats like Errol Flynn and err...Kevin Costner. What a big waste of money.

Anonymous said...

The big black "N" reminds me of the lettering on those '80s slogan T-shirts. "Choose N!" Do we get a T-shirt and free luminous legwarmers? Ooh, now that really WOULD be a selling point!

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