Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I’ve got a great idea….

What do you think?
I reckon it’s a winner – sure-fire.
It hit me, just like that.
A real eureka moment.
Now I know how Edison, Whittle, Logie-Baird and Geoff Hurst must all have felt….

I’m confident I can trust every single one of you – and anyway, I know where you all live. So I’m willing to share this little gem. And remember, ‘envy’ is a terrible and destructive emotion..

How did I think of it?
I dunno, genius is a weird attribute to have I suppose.
And I didn’t even know I was a genius until last night at 7:45pm….
There I was, watching the adverts on the telly. "You too can build a beautiful working model of a Spitfire in 46 weekly parts"… It was one of those bloody annoying ‘build something crap, week by week' adverts. There are loads of them being advertised on the box at the moment – all useless, all naff.

You get a little bit of plastic taped to a very thin mag - Build your own HMS Victory, build your own Radio-controlled car, build your own this, that and the other. By the time you’ve finished, the model has cost 10 times what it would have cost if you’d just gone to a shop and bought a finished one……… and that’s when the bolt of light hit me. I was touched, blessed by the Hallelujah man with a quiver full of idea arrows aimed straight at the creative void in my brain.

"Build your own house in 560,000,000 weekly parts. Part 1 at newsagents now with Brick 1 plus special bonus Brick 2 at the introductory price of £2.75p."….

Brilliant eh?

Like I said, envy – a terribly destructive emotion.

STOP PRESS – Another brillo idea from Alfie’s think tank factory.
"Build your own St James’ Bible in 2,510 weekly parts. Part 1 at newsagents now with ‘Page 1 – Genesis, in the beginning’ plus special piece of sellotape to attach it to page 2 – which you’ll get next week at the special introductory price of £2.50p……

That’s the trouble with us geniuses ….. once you start……


Anonymous said...

How about Build a lifesize model of the great wall of China in easy weekly installments ?

Jenny said...

Like you say, once you geniuses get going!!! Can I write you a begging letter when you become a millionaire?

Bugsy said...

You've got to be impressed with the 'Alfie Think Tank Factory' output so far .. worlds your oyster with this sort of forward thinking.
Might be just as well to hang on to the day job for a while yet though alfie, you don't want to seem over confident do you.
Oh, and keep taking the pills.

Bob Piper said...

As me old Dad used to say... "All you need to do to become a millionaire, son, is persuade a million people to part with a quid". He was good like that with maths, was me old Dad.

Mike said...

IGFLITO Moment. :-)

It's one up from the age old chestnut of puting an ad in a paper, saying that you will tell anyone who sends you £10 the secret of how to get rich quick for very little outlay.

The secret is, as we all know, to put an ad in the paper saying......

Elspeth said...

ohhhh and when do I expect to see this brilliant idea in the shops??

Anonymous said...

Did you see 'Watchdog' this week ?
They showed that plane and it's huge. Next month 'Build your own anti-aircraft gun'.