Friday, September 17, 2004

Windy Fillers …..

Bloody typical innit?
You wait ages for a hurricane….
Then 4 turn up one after the other.

Hurricane Names….

Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl.
‘Ivan’ has hit the coast and ‘Jean’ is brewing up nicely in the special Hurricane growing greenhouse off South America.

I reckon that calling hurricanes fluffy, cuddly names – sort of gives them a bit of a benign cloak of breeziness. What you need are names that will truly convey the terrible power of nature at its most terribly powerful.

Alfie the Weathergirl has thought up a few more realistic names that may offer yer actual Floridian a truer perspective of the impending tempest …..

If they still want to stick with peoples names….
Hurricane Hitler.
Hurricane Barbara Cartland.
Hurricane Thatcher.
Hurricane Beelzebub…
And the scariest…..
Hurricane Higgins.

General themes …..
Hurricane Apocalypse – soon.
Hurricane don’t bother planning for the weekend – there isn’t one.
Hurricane big blow job.

Sponsored storms…
Hurricane Beanz Meanz Bloody Windy.
Hurricane B & Q (you’ll need us after it’s been through).
Hurricane Stormy Weather (by Ella Fitzgerald – a compilation of 24 classic tracks on this stunning C.D.)….

Battening down the hatches….

Every time a hurricane is about to hit some unfortunate community, an enterprising local carpenter breaks out the 1 inch screws & quarter inch marine ply to cover the windows of clapperboard built wooden houses. Thus protecting them from 150 mile an hour winds carrying all manner of heavy metal detritus and the odd flying cow …..

That’ll do it then.