Thursday, August 14, 2003

World Class Delivery…….
Why is it that every service I ever engage is described as ‘World Class’?

Why not just ‘Adequate Class’, ‘Reliable Class’ or ‘So-So Class’. Or maybe ‘We Couldn’t Give a Toss Class’? I am sure I once used a service that worked upon the lines of ‘We are World Class until we get your money – and then our ‘phones are off the hook, so sod off Class’.

What the hell does ‘World Class’ mean anyway?
Maybe if the word ‘third’ is put before the phrase then that would be just a little bit more memorable – and truthful.

It would then read ‘Third World Class’.

If I were buying a service that was ‘Third World Class’ then I wouldn’t be under any illusions what I was getting. Therefore, when everything went tits up – well, what did I expect? I bought into a ‘Third World Class’ service.

My colleagues could berate me "Christ, Alfred – you can be such a divvy sometimes, don’t you know you should NEVER go for a Third World Class service – that’s just asking for trouble"…..

"I know, I know – but I was seduced by all the sexy literature and the believable spiel from that ‘Honest John’ sales geezer"……

Basically, you can’t become a good service today - when yesterday you were just a mediocre one, simply by trotting out some tacky, sugar coated drivel. And have you ever noticed the telly advertising? They always get a gravely voiced actor along the lines of John Hurt ….. "Jim’s Water Taxis’, WORRLLLDDD CLAAASSSSSSS Water Taxiing at it’s most Water World Classiest".

Well it sounds good to me, I would certainly use Jim’s water taxis’ – if ever I needed a good, reliable water taxi service….. Dohhh!

Quiz questions on telly…..
Ever noticed just how dense some TV competitors are? Their panic induced answers can be great entertainment.

To get the ball rolling ……
This one was on ‘Dog Eat Dog’ – that’s the quiz were this Country’s high achievers, the very cream of the crop of our Nation, battle it out, head to head in logic, general knowledge and physical tests. It's a formidable challenge, with no quarter asked or given ..... it's 'Dog Eat Dog' GGGGRRRR..

So, one of the questions one bright spark got was "Who wrote The Planets Suite?"
His answer, this top 2 percenter, this future Captain of Industry, this ‘brain of a planet’ academic, his answer was …….. Tolstoy.

TOLSTOY for God’s sake.

When told the correct answer (Gustav Holst) – he made a grimace as if he was SO damn close to the answer. Like he was so nearly right…… (Presumably, he thought Tolstoy wrote operas or something).

I don’t think he would have got it right even if the questioner had said, "Who composed Holst’s The Planets Suite?"

Another one from ‘Dog Eat Dog’ – and remember, these competitors are all ‘top bananas’.
Question – "Name the lion in ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"
Answer given "Nadia"

It’s just breath taking ……….

No comments: