Friday, January 07, 2005

Jerree, Jerree, Jerree, Jerree, Jerree, Jerree…….

The BBC is showing – ‘Jerry Springer, the opera’ tomorrow night. It’s going out on BBC 2 - so that’s alright, because it’s intellectual.

I understand that swear words, mostly of the ‘EFFs’, ‘SEEs’ and ‘MudderEFFers’ are the expressions of choice – apparently about 3,500 times during the show.

Predictably, the good residents of Tunbridge Wells have risen in their thousands to protest at this "appalling use of licence payers cash". I understand the plot centres around some geezer on the show, dressed only in a nappy who is convinced he is J.C. himself – so the inevitable accusations of what used to be called ‘blasphemy’ are also being made.

Predictably, the BBC has retorted that it is an important contemporary work, adult, witty and deeply satirical. They say that to take it off air would be a disaster for a democratic and liberal society, a blow against free speech and a victory for censorship.

With this new-found spirit of bravery, I look forward to future BBC schedules showing the following,

‘The Satanic Verses – the Musical’

‘Oh Cnut! - King of England and Dyslexic Dane – the Ballet’

‘Barry Khrishner - Punjab's Private Detective’

‘Buddha, fat, frumpy and in need of a makeover!’

‘Bollox – the funtime quiz show!’

‘Is God Gay? – Or does he just keep Mrs God out of the limelight because he’s a bit of a glory hunter?’

‘St Francis of Assisi – and his unhealthy interest in animals.’