Friday, September 24, 2004

Dan, Dan the p.c. man……

Manly Dan, before the final make over made him into a big girl’s blouse.

Desperate Dan, the rootenest, tootenest, hombre this side of the Mason-Dixon line has had a makeover.

Dan, the chunky cowboy from the comic pages of The Dandy is no longer what he once was. The comic has updated him - so he now fits the P.C. matrix, as defined by the Ministry of Political Correctiveness. Gone is the monster barrel chest – Dan’s body is now a temple. Gone is his pair of fine, ‘fancy Dan’ ‘spurs – Dan doesn’t ride horses anymore, he cycles. Gone is his pearl handled six shooter pistol – it’s been replaced by a little belt bag. That way his handy multi-tool, a bit of string and his tree identification booklet are all safely stowed.

I bet he also doesn’t shave with his trusty blow torch anymore. Probably opted for something girly like a Gillette disposable – as advertised by David Beckam?…. Dan still lives in Cactusville – but I bet it’s now twinned with ‘Newmansville’ - P.C. State. I don’t think Dan eats the mighty coronary-inducing ‘Cow Pie’ anymore. Aunt Aggie probably does him a light Rocket salad with garnish…

Dan’s found his feminine side all right. He’s gone all caring and considerate. Indians are no longer ‘varmints’ – but are displaced Native Americans. Criminals are no longer ‘desperados’ – but are misunderstood men, the product of broken homes who have never been given a chance…

Let’s face it, Dan’s just not ‘desperate’ any more. Alfie the ‘Dandy’ reader has made a few suggestions for a new strip title to reflect his new lifestyle..
Devoted Dan,
Decaff’ Dan,
Duncausinghavoc Dan,
Dan, Dan the considerate man,
Dan, Dan the really big, girly man….

Another Alfie hero goes West…..