Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Binge drinking……

I agree, far too much binge drinking around. I blame the cheap cost and the easy accessibility of booze.

I mean, it’s not as if they just have ‘Happy Hour’. What with all the subsidies, Happy Hour lasts for as long as the bars are open…….. Which is all the time. So, happy hour becomes happy days, weeks, months……

I’m on one of my favourite subjects again – the ‘don’t do as we do, but do as we say’ crowd from Westminster.

So when you’re sat there, in your local, nursing a taxed to the hilt pint that’s just cost you £2.25 whilst looking at a £6.85 lump of stale bread and cob of polystyrene laughingly masquerading as a nice bit o’ Cheddar combo, consider this…..

The Palace of Westminster has over 20 bars and pubs within its boundaries. Well that’s nice – and thoughtful, that makes for an average of around 31 MPs per bar, thus avoiding unseemly and plebeian behaviour such as pushing and shoving to get served first. (I haven’t included any of your Lordships, I couldn’t locate any during my in depth survey).

Notice, I didn’t say ‘pushing and shoving to get served for last orders’ - this being Westminster means that there are no last orders. Licensing hours within can only be described as ‘non-existent’ The bars have a 24-hour license; whenever the 2 Houses are sitting, the bars are open 24/7. Well that’s comforting – no ’10 to 11’ panic induced scrum for them, then..

All drinks bought in the Palace are subsidised, by us - as are the bottles of vintage wine, as is the entire restaurant menu. In the case of the food, they pay about 20 to 30% of the true retail worth. Well that is predictable – looks like I’m picking up the tab again.

Where does the word ‘binge’ come from then? My guess is it’s something to do with pigs, troughs and naked greed.

It’s comforting to know that when we stagger out of a club at 2 in the morning we’re at best embarrassing and at worse a bloody disgrace. When an MP is found in some Whitehall gutter with puke dribbling down their best pinstripe, they are described as ‘overworked’ or ‘tired and emotional’

Aint democracy wonderful?

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