Tuesday, March 08, 2005

It’s an age thing…..

I’ve started writing ‘it’

‘The list’…..

Everyone in my age group starts one.
It goes with the mid life territory –
Stop worrying about the testicles – start worrying about the prostate. Stop worrying about the pension – it’s too late now anyway. Realise some equity in the house and get a buy-to-let property. Start ironing your jeans, so you get a really sharp crease down each leg…..

And -

Compile the list of 100 things to do before you die.
(Well, 50 things just ain’t enough is it?)

I was sort of inspired to make one whilst having a pleasant evening meal with a couple of pals recently. They’re married, he’s retired, she’s coming up to it and they’ve already on the second page of their listo-rama.

"Great, you’ve started your list, what’s number one then?"

They look ‘knowingly’ at each other. They’re smug. They know something that I don’t – but I want to find out. And they know it.

They couldn’t possibly tell me.

I go a bit teutonic. "Vot isss ze secret? You vill tell me vot your number von isssss

Gestapo 1 – Pensioner 0. He cracks. He folds. He blabs. He’s singing like Dame Nellie Melba competing on ‘Popstars, The Rivals’….

"Go to an auction"…..

Blimey, living fast and dangerous there then.
Not very Rock and Roll is it? –
More Val Doonican in a nice cardy, on a finely honed rocking chair…

Driving back home, I resolve to start my list – and to be just a little more radical than ‘going to an auction’.

I muse.
OK, my number 1 would have to be pretty damn memorable. Something amazing. Something I’ve always wanted to do. Something so damn good that everyone I tell will think "God, I wish I’d thought of that"….

I look for some inspiration. If he were still alive, what would Sid Vicious have on his list? Regrets-a, he’d have a fer-yew, but then againa, too fer-yew ta mention-er…..


I’ve got to be practical.

The list – will be my very own Magna Carta.
My declaration of independence to greater fulfilment.
My very own rights of passage to a more action packed life - before I pop me clogs.

I’ll need to display it in a really conspicuous place, so all my friends can read it and drool. The kitchen, I think, will be a good place to display my huge list – maybe on the fridge?

Got it! My number 1 resolution on the list ….. Buy a really strong fridge magnet and some radically stout paper.


Jennyta said...

Sounds like a good start. I haven't got to the stage of list-making yet (smug expression on face). Whatever you do DON'T succumb to the temptation of ironing a crease in your jeans!!!
(Should people your age be wearing jeans??? :))

Vanessa said...

Ha! Do you actually have to do the things on the list, or is making a list in itself enough?

Red_Fred said...

Oh NO...a crease down yer jeans! You can't do stuff like that, it's not legal? Is it ? Get help. Quickly.

Cheekysquirrel said...

Thank god no 1 wasn't swimming with dolphins.