Monday, January 22, 2007

The Daily Play – deserving of a good handbagging…

Late at night, when I cannot sleep, I sometimes watch ITV’s post midnight offering ‘The Daily Play’ the crappiest waste of TV space on the box. It basically consists of a failed actor smarm machine, a ‘70’s porn film music track, a phone line and an almost impossible puzzle to solve. I know I’m sad – but it’s the greatest cure for insomnia I know.

It’s all a scam of course. Punters ring up and try to guess the answers….. they shouldn’t bother, they always get it wrong and even if they don’t get through (which is most of the time) ITV still lift nearly 80p from each phone call. They’ve earned millions from such low brow exploitative tat.

You’d think in sophisticated Britain there would be a watchdog looking out for the little guy in such circumstances – well there is, and they’re not happy. Apparently they’ve criticised one of the puzzles in which punters were asked to try and guess the top ten contents of a woman’s handbag… they thought that two of the hidden answers - ‘Rawlplugs’ and a ‘Balaclava’ were perhaps not entirely contextually typical of a laydee’s accoutremental handbaggy make up.

Well, are they typical or are they not? Alfie decided to turn into Private dick, Sam Fabulous to find out. Risking wrath and the imminent loss of some fairly vital bodily parts, I decided to have a butcher’s into Alfreda’s constant companion and see what was within. Hmmm, well that is disappointing. No Rawlplugs, of Balaclavas, just the usual emergency make up kit, diary, purse, a crate of Newcastle Brown, a pair of football boots and Colt 45 Magnum handgun.

7 comments:

St Jude said...

Have you ever thought about joining the 'Gasbags'? I think you would be very good.

Red_Fred said...

Well Alf, last time I cleared out my handbag, I found several nail files, lip gel, bus tickets, 2 diaries, (this year's and last year) torch, comb, keys, some earrings,(so that's where they got to) but no balaclava, nope.

And, I hope your other half never finds you in her handbag....ouch.

Maria said...

"70s"? I think that the porn soundtrack was actually 60s. Whoops!

Kate said...

You are joking about the balaclava right? Rawplugs - of course - but a balaclava? Come on.

It astonishes me that people actually fall for those fearsome giant smiles, sad indictment of our time to be sure...

Great blog

Kate. Lovetolead.

justajob said...

Was the 45 loaded?

Elspeth said...

I never carry a balaclava. Its too hot here.

But its nice to see thats its not just Australia that has the crap late night shows

revinkevin said...

I always had bad feelings about a lot of premium rate phone numbers on TV progs, the word that springs to my mind is con