Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Hold the front page......

I was having a discussion with a colleague yesterday, we got round to talking about something close to my heart……
And that is witty, sometimes corny headlines from newspapers…

I have to admit, I couldn’t beat his recollected efforts – the two best were –

In the ‘70’s the Rolling Stones were doing a tax haven thing and relocating to the south of France. Understandably, the locals weren’t too chuffed – they started a campaign and got a bit of a petition going to stop the legendary hell raisers from living in their midst.

The headline in the newspaper –
‘Rolling Stones Gather Mass Noes’

Better than that though, was the story about books being nicked from an Essex town’s central library. The story was headed thus –
'Book Lack in Ongar'

Brilliant, just brilliant.

11 comments:

simon said...

Do back pages count, Alfie?

How about, "Super Cally Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious"?

alfie said...

Yes - fantastic.... It was in the Sun wasn't it?

"Alice" said...

Oh Simon, that was good!

Um, alfie, I didn't get your second one. Went right over my American head. Heh.

alfie said...

John Osborne wrote a play in the '50's about Jimmy Porter - an angry young man. There was also a film made starring Richard Burton. It was a griity, real life, tough on the streets story which caused a stir and shook the establishment up a bit at the time. The name of the play was 'Look back in Anger'......


(Ongar is a little town in Essex - and is the place where the library had all the books robbed)

Roger B. said...

"Nut nails washers screws and bolts" - a particularly insensitive headline about a launderette rapist (and probably an urban myth).

"Alice" said...

Ohhhh, thanks alfie. Now I get it.
grinning

Shooting Parrots said...

Think that should be "Callie" who went ballistic. Thought mine might get a mention though ;0)

dearieme said...

If you enjoy hideous puns, try the headings given to the letters on the Motoring page of the Telegraph on a Saturday. They might be the last good reason to buy the Telegraph. If you like downbeat headlines, consider my wife's favourite:-
York girl fails to reach quarter-finals.

Roger B. said...

A famous triumph of under-statement was "Local Man lost at Sea", which is reputedly how the Aberdeen Press & Journal reported the sinking of the Titanic.

Stevo in Taichung said...

I remember a beaut from Grandstand back in the seventies, I think it was referred to as a "Coleman Balls" which was a collection of all the gaffs by the legendary beeb comentator, at the end of a particular athletics race at at an Olympics he said of the female victor "coming down the final straight she really opend her legs and showed her class"

Hereward said...

My favourite of unknown provenance, from the 80's on the sports page "Queen in Brawl at Palace" It was a footballer Gerry Queen at Crystal Palace.