Son number 3 has just got a job at a new Tesco superstore. Along with the training manuals ‘Packing Bags the Tesco Way’ and ‘Grabbing your Customer by the Tescos’ - he’s been given his brand new uniform. It is mostly made of nylon and is a real electrostatic fire hazard. The colours are fanciful – the shirt is a mix of powder blue, brooklyn blue and a bog standard blue hue. The trousers are a subtle mix of black, bible black and coal-hole black. They also have a sort of mega rigid crease hammered into them, as does the non-trendy blue-check mix shirt.
We made him dress up in all his finery so we could have a look. He wasn’t too pleased. He didn’t like the kit at all…. He started to froth at the mouth and babble. "What if my mates saw me"…. They don't do hoody versions - which is gay! This colour – it’s so gay! – In fact the whole shirt is gay and so are the trousers…. GAY!"
It’s all so GAY, the job’s GAY, this house is GAY, you two are so GAY!!!!"
Which was a bit of a shock really. I mean, I’ve only just got used to the word ‘gay’ meaning homosexual – and now, it appears to have changed. When I was a kid, ‘gay’ meant happy – as in "I feel so gay, today"….
And now ‘gay’ means bad, naff, old fashioned….
I can hardly keep up.