A mistake, obviously…..
This morning, beloved Alfreda gathered my post, then thoughtfully opened it, then started to giggle like a schoolgirl.
I fall for it hook line and sinker.
"What you laughing at?"
"It’s better you don’t see it"
She proceeds to theatrically stuff the letter inside her pocket.
Cue playful royster – doystering of the let me have that bloody letter or I’ll break your legs in several places variety.
I win. I’ve got the crumpled letter in my hand.
She’s won. She’s let me get the letter.
The day I’ve been dreading has finally arrived.
Alfie the young turk, the dude, the ‘cool hand Luke’ is crestfallen.
Alfie – he of the six pack that’s only slightly buried under a 25 year old beer gut is suddenly feeling his age.
Alfie – still full of hair that only occasionally requires a bit of touching up with Grecian 2000 has just suddenly gone a whiter shade of pale……..
I’ve reached that certain age – and they know it. That certain age were they think I’ve suddenly flopped into sensible shoes, tweedy jackets, M&S jockey jobs and grey holidays…..
It’s a SAGA promo offering me "Peace of mind car insurance for just 75p a week"
"Peace of mind?"
‘Alfie the still mad, bad and dangerous to know’ is not a happy bunny. Alfie is still a guy that likes to walk on the wild side. Is still a guy that gives a middle finger to The Establishment and is not afraid to do a bit of cock snooking to anyone that fancies a bit.
I feel a snotty email coming on – delivered straight into the vacillating heart of SAGA CORP….
I’ll just get comfy in my finest easy-comf armchair , a nice cup of tea, a favourite old cardy and my best pair of slippers to ease my aching feet. ‘Alfie the vengeful’ is tooled up and ready to write!