Something's watching me – and so is his mate.....

My machine of choice is the PowerMac G3 laptop. It's fast and fruity (in an appley kind of way). And of course, it’s free from the viruses and bugs that affect its P.C. cousins as a matter of routine. (Cue smug Tony Blair type smirk).

The screen is big – but has a bit of a tendency to attract a lot of dust and is generally a bit of a detritus magnet. Yesterday I was tapping away, tap, tap, tap, tap…….. when I noticed a couple of those very little corn flies meandering across the screen. I watched them for a bit, then decided that I didn’t want them there. Being a sort of big softy Buddhist, I carefully tried to persuade them to hop onto a corner of some paper, but somehow they didn’t seem to hook up – they seemed to walk underneath it – but how so? It began to get irritating.

Forgetting the Buddhist mantra for a mo’ I turned into Alfie the corn fly killer. My hand wafted across the screen, striking them both a fatal blow…….. or did I? I didn’t seem to have any effect on them at all. They continued their meandering as if I wasn't there.

Either I needed to go up to 3 Weetabix a day and onto a quick body-building course - or I had come across Super Corn Fly Man – and his mate, The Corn Fly Boy Wonder.

Then it struck me, my 2 little mates were under the screen. Somehow, they had found their way into the computer. It’s pretty disconcerting when you are tapping away, to suddenly see a comma get up and relocate on the letter, on screen.

They're still there now, laughing at me, safe beneath the screen, causing God knows what damage to the innards - and playing havoc with my punctuation.

So much for being bug free……. (cue a Tony Blair 'look of real concern') .... maybe not.