Thursday, May 27, 2004

A northern cheeky chappie legend…..

Wow, if George Formby was still alive, then today would be the first day of his hundred and first year. Well he’s not alive, he’s dead – at least, I hope he’s dead coz they buried him some 40 odd years ago…..

But what a comedy genius, bundle of talent-type geezer old Georgie boy was. There, with his lickle Ukulele in his hand – well, they can’t touch you for it nowadays can they?

Funnee? I’ll bloody say so, George, originator of such memorable catch phrases as "Can you hear me mother, "Turned out nice again" and probably lots and lots more great phrases that I can’t quite remember at the moment…… Every time he walked on stage and uttered those immortal words "Turned out nice again" the adoring audience would wet their knickers with laughter – ‘scuse me, got to go to the toilet…..

Talented? Bloody too right. George could play a host of instruments – as long as the instrument he was playing was called the ‘Ukulele’. Such immortal songs as ‘Leaning on a lamppost’, 'When I'm cleaning windies' and ‘I’m a Lancashire lad - and I’m a reet good shag’…… Maybe not.

Could he make it in today’s vacuous celeb–obsessed world? Could he do a ‘Dale Winton’ on the Lottery show? "Eeeeee baa gum, we’re ‘aving a lot o’ fun today…. Ay up, can we ‘ave t’dropped balls please cock?"…….

He’d have to change his delivery, get all ‘estuary’ maybe – or possibly a bit of mid-Atlantic? ‘Can you hear me Mother’ would have to change to - "Yo Muthaf****r, get those cans offa yo’ head and listen up, bitch"…

The ‘Uke’ would have to go – traded in for an ‘axe’…. A Strat’ would do. A shiny suit maybe, a hair and dental makeover – and not forgetting a new street-cred name… and there you have it.

Georgie Boy Formby – the baddest ass outta the Wigan ghetto-massive……..