Application of the mind ….….
Last Sunday morning, Head gently throbbing, stomach on the spin cycle, I patiently wait my turn for my drug of choice at Safeway Chemist shop. The woman in front is collecting a prescription. She’s nervous and twitchy. The pharmacist gives her an emergency bag of stuff, to see her through to the Monday – when she can get a really big, bumper big pack.
Chemist queues are great places aren’t they? – I long for the day when the nervous, spotty youth hands over a packet of jonnies along with a bottle of Lucozade and a fiver – only for the very loud assistant to shout to the chemist …"Mr Jones, how much are these Durex Supa-Snug – Extra Sensitives?"
Anyway, back to the furtive drama unfolding in front of me.
Miss nervy twitcher looks into the bag and seems a bit confused.
"There’s no applicator" she whispered.
The pharmacist looked at her in surprise
"They’re suppositories – they don’t come with an applicator."
"I’m sure they used to have to have an applicator."
"No Madam, they’ve never had an applicator."
"Well, what do I use for an applicator then?"
It was a bit like that old joke about the fishmonger and the customer who will not be told that there is no haddock.... He takes his customer onto a spelling lesson, eventually arriving at the last question "Now, take the letter 'F' out of the word HADDOCK".
"But there is no 'F' in Haddock"
Back to the Pharmacist - "You know......... you use your own 'applicator'
"I don't think I have one do I?"
"Yes you do - you have 10 of them"
With that, the pharmacist holds up her middle finger right in front of the customer’s face and drives it skyward.
Bit much, I thought… she was only asking. Mental note to me, don’t ask a fed up Pharmacist who would rather be somewhere else on a fine Sunday morning, bloody stupid questions ….