Self fulfilling prophesy…..

Rampant inebriate, Georgie Best is not a happy bunny. He reckons the reason he got stopped last Friday for drink driving, wasn’t because he was over twice the legal limit, or his bad driving. No, it was more to do with his distinctive personalised number plate.

P155 ART15T

I see what he means….


New tactics…..

I reckon, if there are any Weps o’ Mass Destrux in Iraq they should employ some new tactics in finding them…
I suggest a game. Blindfold a weapons inspector and get Saddam out of jail.

As Jonny Weapons Finder is aimlessly stumbling around, Saddam can shout out "Colder"….. "Getting warmer"……"Scorching" And the ultimate "Absolutely boiling!!" (delivered in a very high voice)…

And if there’s no co-operation from Saddam, then he’ll get no party bag at going home time …..


Cubs…..

Do they still have ‘Cubs’ – the kindergarten for Scouts? Thumb and little pinky clasped together, leaving the three remaining fingers shooting skyward. Reciting, like extras from ‘Children of the Damned’ "Dibb, dibb, dobb…. I prom miss to do my du tee, blah, blah, blah" Did I really do that, say that? Am I dreaming?

What does ‘Dibb, Dibb, Dobb’ mean anyway? Have I ever ‘dibbled’ or ‘dobbled’? I’ve certainly ‘dribbled’ – usually after a few scoops…

I found my old set of badges the other day, fan-bloody-tastic
I have a badge for ‘Drawing’, a badge for ‘Ironing’ a badge for ‘Observation’ and one for ‘field-craft’ …. And one that I think meant I was a really decent chap. 'Yes, you are a really decent chap and all round good egg, well done', badge.

We had ‘Ar-kay-lar’ for our Cub meets. (Is that how you spell it?) She was nice, she looked like Olive Oil. We occasionally shared the church hall with the Scouts. Their leader was ‘Skip’ He was ok, but he had immensely sweaty armpits. His khaki shirt was always two-tone. In the Summer, the tide was in. But in the Winter, the tide was out – leaving two monster white salt marks around his shirt.

Over the weeks, ‘Skip’ and ‘Ar-kay-lar’ got more and more friendly. They would be seen disappearing into the tent room to try out some new knot work, possibly….. Anyway, ‘Ar-kay-lar’ had to leave. She’d obviously been doing some field work – or possibly a bit of dibbing and dobbing with ‘Skip’. He’d shown her some new techniques on keeping warm and conserving body heat. She got a new badge on ‘Bun making’…..