Friday, April 21, 2006

Pass me the warm milk…..

OK, pretty devastating news from Alfie’s rock n roll HQ. I don’t look as bad as Keith Richards, I don’t have his money or his bizarre taste in hair ornaments – but maybe I share a couple of his health problems. A routine visit to the Health Centre for a chesty cough complaint provoked an enquiry from the Doc’

"While you’re here, why don’t we check your blood pressure?"

She did. She frowned. She said "Hmmmmm"

Picture one of those cartoons were the liquid rises at the speed of light up the dial, hits the bulb at the top, bulges, shakes and explodes…..

High blood pressure. Bloody high - as high as an elephant’s eye on top of a high blood pressure chart on the wall of the penthouse suite of the Empire State Building, as it happens…..

It’s the end of the rock and roll lifestyle for yours truly. My Doctor told me the man that is the angry old basket case has got to go – so have the rounds of bread with every meal, so has the beer.

I’m on the wagon. Old Alfie has gone – along with the bacon butties…. and the Turkish Delight…. and did I mention the beer?

New healthy, more caring, more feminine Alfie is in the building, having got here by bicycle…….

But tell me, does giving up the rock and roll lifestyle, the beer, the bacon butties, the beer, the Turkish Delight, the beer and a ton of bread make me live longer – or will it just seem longer?

10 comments:

Stuart said...

Best of luck!
Eight weeks ago my doctor told me to "cut back", so I thought I'd be smart and cut it out all together (drink that is).
First few weeks were surprisingly easy because it was "exciting and new", but after a wee while I really missed it.
If your into lager, Cobra and Becks do fairly good alcohol free beers (bit like methadone for drinkers).

Geoff said...

So how does a young beer drinker and bread eater like me avoid this unfortunate fate? What can i learn from your experiances?

Bazza said...

Go back every week and have it re-checked, so when it goes down you will know pretty quickly when you can start r and r ing again. Either that or get a second opinion.

Snafu said...

Alfie, was your doctor a bit of a looker!?!

It might just explain the high blood pressure...

If not, get well soon and stay off the salt too:|

GenX at 40 said...

Try adding handfuls of salmon oil pills to the diet and have the occasional beer to celebrate how clever you are.

Red Fred said...

Oh dear - them docs, like sharks they are, always wanting to know such intimate things..tsk.On the other hand, staying alive is a good idea?

Laura said...

Oh, Alfie, you poor thing! Don't forget to give yourself a treat of the things you like every-once-in-awhile. Hmmm, perhaps not all in one sitting though. No that wouldn't be such a good idea. No, uh uh. Pick and choose, pick and choose.

Mike said...

Hmmmm? I told my doc, what he wanted to hear, I've cut down but not given up entirely. Winter got in the way of the walks, but I'm thinking of starting up again.

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